TAPed Out



They even locked the bloody mini-bar!



My story starts something like Lord of the Flies, but my plane did not dive into the sea and instead we diverted 30 minutes south to a resort town to refuel (so close, yet so Faro). So maybe it is more like that terrible movie with Matthew McConaughey and Camera Diaz (have fun on that goose hunt). Anyhow, by the time we retook-off and landed where we were supposed to be, I missed my connection and with it went a great business opportunity. These things happen, said my boss's boss. I know, but I am sorry, I replied.

I am really sorry since I am now stuck in travelers purgatory (the airport hotel) and wait at the mercy of an inept airline. Maybe they are smarter than I am giving them credit for, though, and they are slowly and systematically giving me a drawn out case of whip lash from all the head shaking I've done the past 36 hours?  Portuguese torture? Probably not. TAP Airlines is as a whole no worse than the rest, but bloody hell they are collectively no smarter the broken water heater back home. I'd gladly take a frigid shower just to lose the idiocracy I am now surrounded by. A badge doesn't make you smart and a broken water heater doesn't make your shower not your own. But I am here, not where I am supposed to be or at home.

I feel like I have the conch, but nobody will listen. Poor me? No, at least I am at the airport hotel using a voucher for rubber chicken and cheap wine. Perspective and silver linings, I am a lucky man. I am grateful to be here, now, and I have to remain grounded and thankful. I have even met a few friends along the way (I particularly like the nice old couple with the matching t-shirts from the gift shop). I have my iPad and I am writing this post. Life is good, it certainly could be much worse. I am a lucky man.

Screw that, I'm taking it back*, the crazy waitress just told me my voucher is only good for one glass of wine. I take it all back, perspective and TAP can both go to hell - this little piggy wants to go home.

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*  Yeah, but you know what? This one, this one right here. This was my dream, my wish. And it didn't come true. So I'm taking it back. I'm taking them all back.