Monday, December 20, 2010

Mr. Short-Sleeves in Severe Winter Weather Man

We have all seen these people before.  Perhaps we even know these people.  Bloody Hell, one of us may be in the gang of these people.  And who are these italicized people that are driving me crazy, you may ask?  

Really?
Individually, they are none other than that dude or dudette wearing a short sleeve shirt, or God forbid shorts, outside in the middle of a severe winter.  The phenomenon spans the globe, trust me.  I’ll tell you I am but one man and even I have now witnessed it on at least three different continents.  What is with these people?  [I admit that I have identified an entire class of people that are now subject to this rant – but they are not a protected class and I feel free as a bird to dig into their arrogant ways.]

You know who you are.  You eat ice-cream while it is snowing.  Get a cup of coffee, please I beg you.  You smoke while talking to your friend who is bundled up, yet you tell some long and drawn out story and laugh as if you have no idea that it is minus 10 degrees out. Pretend to shiver, I implore you.  Are you simply impervious to cold air?  Do you really just not feel it?  Seriously, is that even possible?  If so, why are you not an astronaut attempting the first moon walk without a moon suit?  Answer me that Mr. Hairy Arms.  Why are you not a physicist spending your tropical capital in a remote region on Antarctica?  Answer me that Mrs. I-Don't-Feel-Pain.

Please put a fleece on, for me.
Please just go somewhere where you do not make those of us “freaks” who freeze our asses off when the temperature is below freezing feel weak or needy for putting on a freaking jacket.  You know, maybe you can stop being so damn selfish and shave the werewolf hair layer off and put on a fleece so the rest of us don’t feel so dumb?  It’s just a suggestion, maybe a small ask because the whole thing is starting to irritate me. 

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